Friday, February 22, 2013

Why I’m Kind of Like a European

Even though I don’t speak European, I think I’m kind of like one.  Here are the reasons in no particular order:

  • I have a small refrigerator and no ice maker.
  • My TV is 11 by 13 (inches not feet).  Or maybe I should say centimeters not meters but I’m not sure how big those are.
  • I like things that are old and dusty.  By this I mean every thing I own.
  • My car is a Toyota, which I'm pretty sure is a European brand.
  • I live in a flat or maybe a pied a terre. 
  • I go to the market at least once a day.
  • I listen to Edith Piaf on Pandora. And Andrea Bocelli.  Even when they sing in European.
  • I have a very, very small bathroom.
  • I like Mexican food.  Mexico is like Europe.
  • I like Italian food.  Italy is like Europe.
  • I like cheese.
  • I live with a cat.  (The only reason I put that in is because she made me).
  • I consider myself to be a great, although yet undiscovered, artist.
  • I like eating outside as long as it’s not too hot or cold or there aren’t too many gnats. Or homeless people.
  • I don’t really need an oven.  I can do all my cooking on one burner.  And a microwave.
  • I like chocolate, mainly Hershey Bars.  Not that dark crap.
  • I don’t wash my clothes all that often. 
  • Some people seem to think I have socialist leanings.
  • Deodorant?  What deodorant?
  • I like to watch people dance the tango, which started in Argentina, a place I'm pretty sure is in Europe.
  • I think siestas are a very good idea.
  • When I stop by Panera Bread to pick up my salad, I always ask for the baguette instead of the chips.
  • I seem to have a lot of empty wine bottles.

The good thing about kind of being like a European is that you get all of the advantages I've listed above, but you don't have to bother with a passport or put up with those tiny elevators they call lifts or people unwilling to learn to speak American.

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