Monday, February 9, 2015

When I'm 64 (I mean 5)

Darn it!   I'm too old  even to use the Beatles song as a title for my birthday blog posting.  The one we laughed about in 1967 when it was released because we would never, ever be that age.  Never.

How could this possibly happen?  I sometimes look at someone I know to be in her 50s and I think, yes, I'm old just like her.  And then I remember and realize that I am, indeed, a whole different kind of old.  And that realization sucks.

So, on my 65th birthday, here are 10 things I'm rather pissed about:

  1. Medicare - really? How embarrassing.
  2. I can’t drive at night and nobody needs me changing lanes at any time.
  3. My feet hurt.
  4. I have bruise that looks like Abraham Lincoln on my shin.  Just from barely hitting my leg while getting into the tub.  Joe says it might be Jesus, and that, if I can maintain it, perhaps I will become rich and famous.
  5. I have the hands of a 100 year old farm worker.  I swear, my Aunt Madge, who is 97 and lives at Baptist Village in Waycross, is revolted by how old my hands look.
  6. I have wrinkled everything. 
  7. Eyebrows.  What eyebrows?
  8. I can’t see in the dark or the light.  Joe and I went to an avant-garde play at the Actors Express and I was trying to get to the bathroom but ended up heading backstage, at which point Joe started hollering "Marcia! Marcia!  The other way!  The bathroom is the other way!"  I do believe some of the members of the audience thought I was part of the play.
  9. Small print and mumblers.
  10. Words and names.  I can't remember any of them. Especially under duress.

 But, come to think of it, the Beatles, just like the rest of us, did age.  Except for John and George, who never had the privilege.   Just like some of us.

Therefore, I guess I need to also include 10 things that are pretty rad about being 65.

  1. Medicare - I'm happy to have it but I must say that I'm worried about my card.  It's just paper, no lamination.  What the hell?  I've had it just a couple of months (they send it early) and it's already looking worn.  I would laminate it myself but I'm afraid I'll be put in prison or something.  Old people's prison.  All the old people who laminated their Medicare cards.
  2. My grown children and their children. Humans I hadn't met or even conjured up in my heart yet back in 1967.
  3. Joe - what a surprise he was (and still is) to me, especially at my advanced age and level of disrepair.
  4. Joe’s family - they're mostly Yankees but I'm able to overlook that.
  5. Old friends who still love me and young friends who help me navigate this new world.
  6. Teacher retirement.  One of the last things my daddy told me before he died was not to cash in my teacher retirement.  I didn't and now I'm very very very glad.
  7. Only having to shave my legs about once a year.  My yearly shaving is when I noticed the bruise that looks like Abe/Jesus.
  8. Enjoying Atlanta while most of the population is at work or school.  The Waffle House is much more relaxing without all the hungover weekenders. 
  9. Old people's classes at Emory and the senior fares on Marta we learned about at the old people's classes at Emory.  I do have to add that old people can be really annoying.
  10. Not having to worry about a tan.  Who would notice it through all the wrinkles?
 So, here's to 65, I guess.  From someone somewhat pissed but very happy to still be here.









Anonymous said...

Wonderful post, and Happy Birthday! When you get to my age, you won't have to save at all. I hit 73 this year and have so many false body parts when I die, they can't cremate me, cause I won't burn. When I go through the airport check-in they put me in a wheel chair and run me around the body scanner thingy. They do check me for gunpowder, however. I must look dangerous or something.

marciamayo said...

Audrey, that's hilarious! Thank you for helping look to the future.

Olga said...

happy Birthday. You still have your sense of humor and it sounds like you have met your match in Joe, even if he is a damn Yankee.

oklhdan said...

Happy Birthday Marcia! I cracked up about the Medicare card for that was the first thing I thought about when I got mine. I still haven't laminated mine either.

Celia said...

Happy Birthday Marcia. Thanks for the laughter.

I laminated my Medicare card but it still frayed. It's slightly larger than other cards and scrapes on the edges of the wallet slot. And...why after telling us not to carry our social security numbers on us, the Medicare care is numbered by our SSN? That was not a genius design at all.

Celia said...

Scratch the extra "care" after Medicare. Sometimes I can't write when I get excited!

marciamayo said...

Celia, I'm glad to see you aren't in prison.

Arkansas Patti said...

Happy Birthday!! Oh to be 65 again. See, there is always someone that thinks you are a spring chicken.
Good to see you back posting with humor intact.
My Medicare card is happily laminated. They do not forbid it but the SS card is another matter.

Unknown said...

You know I love a top ten list! Cheers!

marciamayo said...

Thanks Patti, glad you aren't in prison either.

Linda Myers said...

Yep times ten.

I love that I don't have to shave my legs. It's too hard to bend over that far these days!

LC said...

I lost track of you and have missed you so much. I can always count on you for huge laughs that remind me that there is another old peoples' pet PEEve I would add to the list--leaky bladder. i know, ti can hear the groans that the upper case is eliciting from normal people. What can I say? you just have that effect on me. Now I have to go brave the Blogger technology to be sure your posts show up on my reading list.

marciamayo said...

LC, I have missed you too. This group who have commented are the ones who drew me back. I've missed you all.

fiftyodd said...

Yep to your list - still got my eyebrows though: 65 this year (boy, have I been blogging that long??)
Great post. So nice that we are not alone out here.

fiftyodd said...

Yep to your list - still got my eyebrows though: 65 this year (boy, have I been blogging that long??)
Great post. So nice that we are not alone out here.

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