Friday, February 22, 2013

Why I’m Kind of Like a European

Even though I don’t speak European, I think I’m kind of like one.  Here are the reasons in no particular order:

  • I have a small refrigerator and no ice maker.
  • My TV is 11 by 13 (inches not feet).  Or maybe I should say centimeters not meters but I’m not sure how big those are.
  • I like things that are old and dusty.  By this I mean every thing I own.
  • My car is a Toyota, which I'm pretty sure is a European brand.
  • I live in a flat or maybe a pied a terre. 
  • I go to the market at least once a day.
  • I listen to Edith Piaf on Pandora. And Andrea Bocelli.  Even when they sing in European.
  • I have a very, very small bathroom.
  • I like Mexican food.  Mexico is like Europe.
  • I like Italian food.  Italy is like Europe.
  • I like cheese.
  • I live with a cat.  (The only reason I put that in is because she made me).
  • I consider myself to be a great, although yet undiscovered, artist.
  • I like eating outside as long as it’s not too hot or cold or there aren’t too many gnats. Or homeless people.
  • I don’t really need an oven.  I can do all my cooking on one burner.  And a microwave.
  • I like chocolate, mainly Hershey Bars.  Not that dark crap.
  • I don’t wash my clothes all that often. 
  • Some people seem to think I have socialist leanings.
  • Deodorant?  What deodorant?
  • I like to watch people dance the tango, which started in Argentina, a place I'm pretty sure is in Europe.
  • I think siestas are a very good idea.
  • When I stop by Panera Bread to pick up my salad, I always ask for the baguette instead of the chips.
  • I seem to have a lot of empty wine bottles.

The good thing about kind of being like a European is that you get all of the advantages I've listed above, but you don't have to bother with a passport or put up with those tiny elevators they call lifts or people unwilling to learn to speak American.

Bossy Pants

Me Showing Joe the Correct Place to Look at the Eclipse Joe calls me Bossy Pants, which, by the way, he totally stole from Tina ...