Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Early Bird




 I’m early to bed and early to rise.  I’m two hours early for flights and thirty minutes early for appointments.  I’ve spent many many minutes parked along roads and streets and cul-de-sacs so I wouldn’t be early to social engagements.

I will most likely be early to my own funeral.

When I was teaching, I’d get to school so early I’d sometimes set off the alarm and, occasionally enough to be worrisome, the Atlanta Police would show up and admonish me.

There may be some connection between birth hour and temporal activity and notions of time.  Two of my three kids, Billy and Molly, are also early arrivers.  They were both born in the morning as was I.  Melissa, who was born in the afternoon, was always late when she was a child and teenager, with me in hatchback, honking the horn, and her telling me to “hold on!” way too many times.  Now that she has children of her own who take forever to get into the car, she’s sped up quite a bit, but she still doesn't see the need to leave an hour before having to be somewhere thirty minutes away.  Go figure.

Even though being early appears indicative of stellar character, at least to me, I can see how it might be annoying to others.  Early birds show up at dinner parties while the hostess is still shaving her legs.  They arrive at interviews while the interviewer is trying to finish off his Big Mac.  And they must annoy shoppers who finesse a timely parking-lot disembark as soon as they can possibly take leave from their Thanksgiving repast to be armed and ready for Wal-Mart's 1 am Black Friday opening, only to find the early birds already camping out, looking smug in their lawn chairs while eating a leftover turkey leg.  I believe that EBs are the ones who get most hit on the head with those big pocketbooks you see flailing around on the evening news.

And then there are certain jobs early birds just can't do.  Arriving at a fire before it starts would be seen as unprofessional at best and perhaps no small amount of suspicious.  The same for removing a gall bladder before it becomes all gross and gnarly, and serving a fine wine before its time.

But, for my oldest best friend, Allison, and me, it's great to be an early bird.  We arrive for dinner before the fashionably-late, hungry hordes, often knocking on the locked restaurant door while the waitstaff is still going over the menu, and then asking for the senior citizen special.

We aren't annoying at all.

17 comments:

cile said...

That is the absolute PERFECT picture for this post! Ha Ha!

I confess, I'm an annoying early bird, too. I know all about sitting outside in the car. I suspect I will one day be arrested for loitering or be hauled in as dubious for my suspicious behaviors. Thanks for giving voice to all of us parked outside wistfully gazing at our watches and working so hard to be as requested, Marcia!

Ami said...

The old saw about the early bird and the worm simply shows that the worm should have slept in.
:)

Came here via Melissa's Facebook post.

Olga said...

No, doesn't sound annoying at all. At least your friend is the same way, but I guess that is to be expected (birds of a feather and all).

Arkansas Patti said...

Such a delightful post and I admit to have the same affliction. I don't sit and wait but tend to drive around the neighborhood till a more appropriate time. Funny, I don't mind others being late but I just have to arrive on time or a little before. I am perfectly anal about it. Thanks for making me feel better.

Birdie said...

I am not in any way, shape or from and early bird. I love the night! When early birds call me in the morning and ask me what I am doing in bed I want to call them at midnight and ask them the same thing!

I am always on time for appointments though. Hate being late.

Brighid said...

I'm the ONLY one in my family that has the early bird sindrome...
Love the pic, it so fits the post!

Vagabonde said...

Another humorous post. I try to get to appointments on time, not before. I like to go to bed after midnight then I read for a while. I had to be at work by 6 am for decades so now that I am retired I indulge in my night owl preferences. If someone calls me early in the morning – the answering machine will take their message. But it must be nice to see the sunrise…

Celia said...

Loved your post, I'm an early bird too but I must confess, I have given up on early am appointments in favor of afternoon ones if I can. It takes me soooo loooong to get ready.

Celia said...

Loved your post, I'm an early bird too but I must confess, I have given up on early am appointments in favor of afternoon ones if I can. It takes me soooo loooong to get ready.

Ree said...

I'm not sure how I came across your blog - link from a blog from a blog!

Your post made me smile. I'm an early riser and in days gone past I was a late-to-bed person too. I don't like to be late anywhere, but neither do I plan to be REALLY early. I like to arrive at appointments on time (ie, a few minutes early).

I remember a friend regularly commenting on the fact that there was usually always washing up in the sink when she arrived to visit me. She didn't seem to consider that she arrived so darn early, I was still preparing! We're no longer friends, but it's not because of her turning up early. :)

schmidleysscribblins,wordpress.com said...

OMG I never knew gall bladders got all gross and gnarly. How awful. If I knew that was about to happen, I'd have it removed sooner rather than later. I think its called being proactive. Dianne

LC said...

Thank you for this Marcia gem. From the first image to the ones you planted in my brain, I savored your trademark humor. You have made this Good Friday even better. That is high praise since the Georgia tribe is arriving shortly. That includes 4 of our 6 grands. I thought it couldn't get any better, but it has. Thanks again and joy to you and yours.

Wisewebwoman said...

I'm in the middle somewhere, always on time. I view it as respect and expect the same from others. Value of each other. Despise the inconsiderate behaviour of latecomers unless validated with a good reason. Like hospital and death.
Early bird not so much, I absolutely adore my bed and was born in the evening...
XO
WWW
PS You don't write often enough, my friend.

joared said...

I always wondered what an EB looked like and now your picture sheds light on that unknown. I had only seen one other that is imprinted in my mind.

EBs are okay in some instances but definitely not in others. Years ago we had our first and only yard sale at our house in which a couple other neighbors participated. We had put a sign up at our door that definitely could not be missed stating when the sale would open and emphatically stating "NO EARLY BIRDS!"

We had been up late the night before that Saturday morning, getting everything ready to go since as working people we had to do most of our setup in the garage and other tasks after our normal weekday lives.

We were hustling to feed ourselves and children, be ready to start on time -- when an EB came to our door. My husband was as rude to her as he thought she was to us by ignoring our sign. Besides, he was less than enthusiastic about having this yard sale in the first place. EB stomped off, left in her car with the driver to show us, I guess, but we could have cared less.

The buyer, or prospective buyer, EB or not, doesn't always exert the control.

Linda said...

Great post. I am also an early person, hating to be late for anything or anyone. Interesting, though, I was born at 2 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon...in 1956.

fiftyodd said...

Lovely post. I'm an early bird too - have been known to allow 8 hours to get to an airport when travelling alone. My husband tries to make out that I make him wait but it's not true: that's because his mother was always notoriously late, so he thinks all women are.

fiftyodd said...

Yep. I totally get it. Once allowed myself 8 hours to get to Gatwick Airport because I was staying with my son on the other side of London, and I had to get there by myself.