Friday, February 22, 2013

Why I’m Kind of Like a European

Even though I don’t speak European, I think I’m kind of like one.  Here are the reasons in no particular order:

  • I have a small refrigerator and no ice maker.
  • My TV is 11 by 13 (inches not feet).  Or maybe I should say centimeters not meters but I’m not sure how big those are.
  • I like things that are old and dusty.  By this I mean every thing I own.
  • My car is a Toyota, which I'm pretty sure is a European brand.
  • I live in a flat or maybe a pied a terre. 
  • I go to the market at least once a day.
  • I listen to Edith Piaf on Pandora. And Andrea Bocelli.  Even when they sing in European.
  • I have a very, very small bathroom.
  • I like Mexican food.  Mexico is like Europe.
  • I like Italian food.  Italy is like Europe.
  • I like cheese.
  • I live with a cat.  (The only reason I put that in is because she made me).
  • I consider myself to be a great, although yet undiscovered, artist.
  • I like eating outside as long as it’s not too hot or cold or there aren’t too many gnats. Or homeless people.
  • I don’t really need an oven.  I can do all my cooking on one burner.  And a microwave.
  • I like chocolate, mainly Hershey Bars.  Not that dark crap.
  • I don’t wash my clothes all that often. 
  • Some people seem to think I have socialist leanings.
  • Deodorant?  What deodorant?
  • I like to watch people dance the tango, which started in Argentina, a place I'm pretty sure is in Europe.
  • I think siestas are a very good idea.
  • When I stop by Panera Bread to pick up my salad, I always ask for the baguette instead of the chips.
  • I seem to have a lot of empty wine bottles.

The good thing about kind of being like a European is that you get all of the advantages I've listed above, but you don't have to bother with a passport or put up with those tiny elevators they call lifts or people unwilling to learn to speak American.


Allie Fleckner said...

Ahahahahaha! Oh, how I miss your sense of humor!

Meryl Baer said...

Old World lifestyle has its rewards wherever we live. Europeans treasure anything old. Like me. But there is nothing like fresh dark chocolate!

Jean Campbell said...

Love it!

Olga said...

i don't know, Marcia. You sound pretty darn American to me--except for the ice maker thing. Laugh on.

LC said...

I wanted to make some witty comment but I have been embarrassing my husband with my unrefined laughter ever since the Toyota, and by the time I got to Mexico he told me to stop laughing. I didn't; I couldn't; and then the tango and Argentina did me in. I am grinning like an idiot and erupting in occasional giggles.

Linda Myers said...

I'm in Tucson, and it snowed this week. I needed a belly laugh. Thank you!

Terra said...

You are cute, tho a bit geographically challenged. LOL

Jean said...

But do you shave your underarms?


marciamayo said...

Thanks to all of you. Your comments make me so happy. Jean, I'm so old I don't even need to shave under my arms any more.

Kate said...

I LOVE the way you think! Must have ice, though. :)

Folkways Note Book said...

I have a few of your ways -- I would not call myself European though. American Bohemian would probably describe my type of living. -- barbara

Anonymous said...

True Europeans never close the bathroom window whatever the weather; the ladies never shave their legs.

Vagabonde said...

You are funny. You know I am from Paris, France – don’t know whether that is in Europe – I have been in Georgia so long now that I have forgotten my geography…. I am pleased that there are kind of Europeans like you to tell me what I should really be like! I know – you are teasing – but the stereotypes you wrote are believed by many Americans.

My turn - now I know I am not kind of American because I like to read books, I can speak 3 languages fluently and 2 more passably but I don’t speak American, I don’t eat only fast-food or frozen food, I can drive a manual 5-speed car, I am not loud in public and rude to foreigners or a racist, I am not greedy, I am interested in other cultures and not overly religious. I am not self-righteous and extremely conservative and patriotic. I guess I cannot be an American yet, don’t you think?

marciamayo said...

Vagabonde, You are correct. I was making fun of Americans and how some of us look at everyone else. You did a great job of turning it around to show us what others think about us.

Friko said...

Marcia dear, and there was I thinking Americans don’t do irony. Actually, I thought Americans don’t even get irony.

Folkways Note Book said...

Just looked over your blog and noticed the mention that your daddy just had his 100th birthday!!!! I don't know him but I sure can wish him Happy birthday from me. Terrific to know that you have had all these years with him. -- barbara

schmidleysscribblins, said...


Better watch it, the Eurocops will be after you. They are rounding up all the usual socialist suspects.

I will be next. Only this morning I wondered why I stopped bathing once a week to bathe every day. Of course, I stopped that silliness when i retired, and you should see our water bill now. Dianne

Brig said...

OMELG... You are so full of it!!! Thanks for the laugh!

suenosdeuomi said...

Hershey's gave you away, impossible for a true European to go for that. Thanks for the laugh.

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