I Have No Words

 

Well, maybe not no words.  I have plenty of words.  I just can’t always find them. 

Joe will tell you that a lack of words is not a problem for me, since I seldom stop talking.  But what I mean is certain words at certain times.  For example, I'll have a word I want to say; I can actually see the word, but before I can get it out of my mouth, it flutters away, and I’m left bereft and abandoned without it - at least for a while. 

When I talk to friends my age, I realize I’m not alone with this problem, although I have other friends who don’t suffer from this at all, enough to make me fear that my synapses have over-snapped themselves. 

In most cases, nouns are the problem. I do OK with verbs and adjectives and adverbs and gerunds and participles and past participles and oxymorons and, most notably,onomatopoeia.  Why nouns?  Nouns you can see in many cases, so it seems they would be easier to recall.  However, for me, it’s not the meaning; it’s the sound, the articulation of the word.  For example, just recently I was talking to friends, and I was trying to tell them that I had just purchased a poinsettia at Publix.  Exciting repartee, I know. As soon as I got close to saying poinsettia, it just flew away like a pigeon with a day-old french fry.  Hydrangea perched instead, as did portulaca, dahlia, daffodil, and daisy.  But, being Christmas time, I knew that the missing flower name was none of those.  When my friends kindly helped me out, we moved on. 

Nowadays, I can’t take part in any conversation having to do with Hollywood or popular culture.  If I do, it goes something like this: “Remember what’s her name who used to be married to what's his name, but she’s married now to what’s his name and she’s in that new movie what’s its name?” 

All I can say is thank goodness for Google.  What on earth did old people do before Google? 

My worries about my problem are exacerbated by the test I am now am required to take as part of my annual physical checkup.  The test consists of having to remember three items, and then drawing an analog clock with its hands pointing to a specific time.  Being a former second-grade teacher, I am all over that clock even though analog clocks haven’t been used by anyone younger than 45 since the turn of the millennium.  It’s the three items that cause me to lose sleep the night before my check-up.  The first time I was given the test, I wasn’t expecting it, and I could only remember two of the words.  When I later told Joe, who was having his physical at the same time in a room down the hall, he said he made a perfect score.  I found that hard to believe so I asked him his secret.  He told me he wrote the three items down on the sheet of paper they gave him to draw the clock.  When I guffawed and accused Joe of cheating, he maintained that no one told him he couldn’t write the items on the paper, so it was okay and, in fact, indicated good problem-solving skills. 

I now use my own trick to outsmart my doctor.  I envision myself immersed with the three items.  This last time, I saw myself eating a banana while sitting in a chair while looking at the moon.  So far, that has worked, but I hope they don’t change the test next year.  In addition, it would help if they would give me the banana and the chair and the moon again. 

Of course, we all know that, as we age, we have burdens.  For some of us, it's arthritis or cholesterol or diabetes or hearing or vision or other physical problems.  But for most of us, it’s the thought of dementia that scares us most. As we look for signs, we stay vigilant and do what we can to hold it off. We take medications we purchase from the internet; we complete our crossword puzzles, we sign up for classes at our community college, we volunteer, we exercise, and we eat our fruits and vegetables. We do what we can to shore up our bodies stimulate our minds.  

And, in my case, I guess I start my blog back up.