Even though I don’t speak European, I think I’m kind of like
one. Here are the reasons in no particular order:
- I have a small refrigerator and no ice maker.
- My TV is 11 by 13 (inches not feet). Or maybe I should say centimeters not meters but I’m not sure how big those are.
- I like things that are old and dusty. By this I mean every thing I own.
- My car is a Toyota, which I'm pretty sure is a European brand.
- I live in a flat or maybe a pied a terre.
- I go to the market at least once a day.
- I listen to Edith Piaf on Pandora. And Andrea Bocelli. Even when they sing in European.
- I have a very, very small bathroom.
- I like Mexican food. Mexico is like Europe.
- I like Italian food. Italy is like Europe.
- I like cheese.
- I live with a cat. (The only reason I put that in is because she made me).
- I consider myself to be a great, although yet undiscovered, artist.
- I like eating outside as long as it’s not too hot or cold or there aren’t too many gnats. Or homeless people.
- I don’t really need an oven. I can do all my cooking on one burner. And a microwave.
- I like chocolate, mainly Hershey Bars. Not that dark crap.
- I don’t wash my clothes all that often.
- Some people seem to think I have socialist leanings.
- Deodorant? What deodorant?
- I like to watch people dance the tango, which started in Argentina, a place I'm pretty sure is in Europe.
- I think siestas are a very good idea.
- When I stop by Panera Bread to pick up my salad, I always ask for the baguette instead of the chips.
- I seem to have a lot of empty wine bottles.
The good thing about kind of being like a European is that you get all of the advantages I've listed above, but you don't have to bother with a passport or put up with those tiny elevators they call lifts or people unwilling to learn to speak American.
