Saturday, October 13, 2012

Wore Slap Out

Photo: Hawheeeeeeeeeee... http://instagr.am/p/Qneimdh3jC/


wore slap out – a Southern colloquialism that describes, at least somewhat adequately, how grandmas feel when their precious progeny finally buckle up and head for home.

Don’t get me wrong; I love my grandkids.  It’s just that they are very, very busy and my home is very, very small.  

In an attempt to define grandkids' kind of busy, I’m going to try to quantify five-year-old Miles and three-year-old Georgia’s recent visit that ended, thank you God and Jesus, Thursday afternoon at 4:29 PM, despite daughter, Melissa’s worries that they might hit rush hour traffic. 

Number of:
  • Grammy's knick-knacks rearranged by Georgia:  472
  • knick-knacks moved by adults to get them out of Georgia's sight line:  327
  • crumbs on the floor: infinity
  • times Georgia hit Miles: 73
  • times Miles hit back: 6
  • times Georgia told on Miles for hitting her: 6
  • bath salts poured into bath: all
  • Grammy’s bran muffins eaten by grandkids:  just 1 as the rest were hidden
  •  cups of milk poured: hundreds
  • pictures colored by Miles for Grammy: 3
  • times Georgia lost her bear, Beary Manilow : 326 
  • Nick Jr. shows ordered On Demand: 8 (well worth the cost no matter what it was)
  • parks visited: 2
  • swing pushes: infinity
  • times I went down a slide: 4 
  • times kids were told to stay with us: 500
    times they listened: 0
  • times we mistakenly thought we could go to a restaurant as long as we dined al fresco: too many
  • escalator rides to nowhere: 2
  • Pumpkin Patches we visited: 2
  • times Georgia dropped her pumpkin: 15
  • times we got lost going to and returning from the zoo: 5
  • animals we saw at the zoo: 35 (1000 counting the naked mole rats)
  • times we had to pick up a kid so he/she could see: 72
  • animals we got to feed:  just 1 but it was a GIRAFFE!!!!
  • things climbed on in spite of our admonitions not to do so: 85
  • animals brushed at the petting zoo: I don't know.  I was sitting on a bench at that point.
  • times we rode the train despite telling the kids we were all out of money: 1
  • times Georgia and I rode the Merry-Go-Round despite telling the kids we were all out of money: 1
  • times Miles climbed the very tall climbing wall: 2
  • minutes Miles waited patiently to climb the climbing wall: at least 30
  • times we lost the children: only 1.  We were sitting and resting while they played on the playground at the zoo, patting ourselves on the back about how careful we are with them at all times.  While we were talking and resting and watching so carefully,  they somehow managed to see the little kid door into the naked mole rats building, which they visited unchaperoned until they gleefully exited via the tunnel at the other end of the building while we were dutifully watching the playground where we were sure they were. 

To tell the truth, the visit was a great one and the kids were pretty good, considering their ages and my small Atlanta home. I would have liked for them to stay longer, but when they finally, thank you God and Jesus, left, I was wore slap out.
 
Number of lies I just told about wanting them to stay longer: 1
Number of sweet memories of the trip: infinity


 


 


 




14 comments:

becky nielsen said...

oh, yeah! Know the feeling!

Olga said...

Yep, that going home thing is a special part of grandmothering.

FOLKWAYS NOTEBOOK said...

Like your lists. I know you had a great time but small kids whiz around at a hundred miles an hour while grandmother's move a bit slowwer. That fast whizzing causes a wind that can knock over an adult -- barbara

Dianne said...

I want to go next time. Maybe Mossy creek?

LC said...

Yep! You really are a grandma. You have earned your grandma badge, how many times over ? Infinity. How many laughs I got 73. How much of the post I read aloud to a patient grandpa (my hubby) 4/5.

Brighid said...

It's not nice to lol at other grannies...But I can't help it!
One rule I've learned is to never ever take more than 2 (two) at a time...

cile said...

I read your bullet points with terror in my heart. How will I possibly keep up with my two when they become genuinely mobile? I think I'd better add a mile or two to the daily treadmill regimen! Get into training!

marciamayo said...

Cile, you are correct to have terror in your heart. Listen to all the other grannies above.

oklhdan said...

I enjoyed your post with envy in my heart. I would loved to have been a grandmother! Sounds like the perfect diet and weight management program.

marciamayo said...

And, Dani, you would be a great one.

schmidleysscribblins,wordpress.com said...

And my son wondered why I only visited for three days.

I reminded him of Dr Johnson's saying, "Fish and visitors begin to stink on the third day." With kids, it takes less time. Dianne

Anonymous said...

Sounds like so much fun, but, honestly, I was "wore slap out" just reading about your activities. Grandkids must give you extra stamina. Phil

Friko said...

Hours spent counting: infinity

They are sweet little kids and, once they’ve gone, really very bearable.

Roll on next time.

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