For those of us who arrive, with no small surprise and absolute horror,
in the Land of Old People, one of the most important things we must learn to balance is the great amount of wisdom we
have and want to impart to others, along with that other thing, that fuzzy thinking
thing, which reminds us that Alzheimer’s is just an overlooked Sudoku puzzle
away from our deteriorating brain cells.
I was reminded of that balance just this past week and it unnerved me. In my defense, my brother had just died and I
was exhausted, not only from mourning him but also from celebrating his life.
Some background info:
The reception following my brother, Sandy’s funeral
was at Congressional Country Club in Bethesda,
MD. I was in High Cotton, folks. Out of my element in my Macy’s easy-pack ensemble, I found a sofa to sit on while holding tightly to my Diet Coke, as the over 300 attendees
visited the open bar and the buffet table and commiserated with each other, remembering their
friend and colleague. I did find that,
after a few minutes, folks started coming by my couch to tell me how much they loved my brother. One such person
was an older man in a wheel chair. This
man introduced himself as my brother’s one and possibly only Republican friend and told me of
the great times he had had when Sandy and his wife, Katherine, visited at
his vacation home in Jamaica.
It was later when I thought to ask Katherine what that
Republican had done in his life to pay for the vacation home in Jamaica and she
reported that he had been Goldwater’s “money man”. Although I didn't quite know what that meant, I chuckled and put the shiny tidbit of info in my brain to
consider at a later time.
That later time came when I was talking to Melissa, my
eldest, on the phone after I’d returned to Atlanta.
Since my darling Melissa, in what has to have been an early and
catastrophic mid life crisis, has made a hard right turn in her political
leanings, I though she would enjoy hearing about her Uncle Sandy’s one
Republican friend.
When I got to the Goldwater’s “money man” part, I figured
Melissa, although a definite right leaner, wouldn’t be up on Barry Goldwater, since, unlike me, she didn't grow up during the Goldwater era. That’s where
my wisdom, based on my long life well lived, would come in handy. I'd spent several summers as a child with my grandparents who lived in Phoenix and I'd sat in on many a debate between
my liberal grandfather and his more conservative friends, debates often centered around old Barry.
Melissa took the bait.
“Now, who was Barry Goldwater?”
And, I'm sorry to say that this was the point at which my great wisdom (and my opportunity to articulate it) ran head on into my
fuzzy thinking. With all of the certainty that comes from being there and seeing it happen, I said, “He was president,”
“What? Barry
Goldwater was president? Of What?” asked poor young Melissa.
“Of the United
States.”
That’s when I heard the “Oh no, here we go” tone in Melissa's voice, the tone that said we need to start looking into "homes". She hesitated and then said, “Mama, I don’t think Barry Goldwater was president of the United States.
I’m looking him up here on my IPad and it’s says he was a senator from Arizona and he ran for president but didn’t win.”
Really? Hmm. Maybe he wasn’t president. Damn those IPads
where whippersnappers can look up everything just like that.
Okay, I know Barry Goldwater wasn't ever president of the United States. I should know. I was alive when he wasn't president, unlike that smart ass Melissa with her IPad. It's just that, in my fuzzy brain, my full brain, sometimes things get all mixed up together. Nixon, Agnew, Rockefeller, Reagan, all those Bushes. So many Republicans, they just all run together (as do many of the Democrats).
So, as I like to say these days: I know a lot; I just can't remember any of it. Maybe a Sudoku puzzle would help. The only problem is where I put it is a bit fuzzy.
